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Health & Fitness

Don't Forget About Setting Limits This Summer

Unlimited access is great if you're a cell phone company but for parents - not so much!

I get a lot of calls at the beginning of summer from friends and clients who freak a little about the kids being home. I, myself, have moments of anxiety about the change in schedule and it takes me about a week and a half to have the proper amount of food in the house to feed my teen and pre-teen! 

It’s great to sleep a little later and relax the structure a bit but remember, kids will take advantage of every opportunity to push through the boundaries that you have diligently and carefully constructed throughout the year for your good and the good of your family. Setting appropriate boundaries is the way to teach kids respect for others and helps us refrain from yelling at our precious angels.   

The post modern psychological parenting model will tell you that mom should do more and always be available so that kids will feel unconditionally loved. But that is simply not healthy for you or them. Letting your children take care of the things that they are capable of doing like resolving their own conflict, pushing through frustration, taking responsibility for significant chores in the household, is empowering and the foundation for real self-esteem.  Micromanagement of your kids’ lives only leads to resentment from both sides.   

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Just because the kids are home doesn’t mean that all activities should resolve around them. Whether you have a spouse or don’t, the adult relationships (the marriage or your adult friendships) should be center for the best interest of the family. It creates a feeling of stability and safety from which children can thrive.  From there the parent can teach and lead so that one day these kids will learn your values and the life skills that will greatly increase their chances of a successful life of their own. You may be hanging out at the beach but leadership should never take a vacation! 

Lori is a certified John Rosemond Leadership Parenting Coach.  She lives in Cobb County with her husband of 21 years and her two sons, a sophomore at Walton High and a 7th grader at Dickerson Middle School. She is available for parenting workshops and provides tailored one on one parent coaching for individual families via in-home consultations, phone conference or e-mail correspondence.

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